There is something powerful about stepping into a young person’s world rather than always expecting them to step into ours.

When we attend their games, rehearsals, performances or activities, we communicate something without necessarily saying it: I see what matters to you, and therefore it matters to me too.

In this way, I have come to see part of my role as a guardian as being about recognising and supporting the spaces where our students find connection, confidence and community. Not controlling them, and not necessarily directing them, but making sure that these parts of their lives are seen and valued.

Of course, this is not always easy.

Not every teenager naturally finds their people. Some students immediately find belonging through sport. Others find it through music, religion, culture, art or drama. Some have a close friendship group that becomes their safe space. But there are also students who do not immediately fit into any of these categories.

They may not enjoy sport. They may not belong to a religious community. They may feel uncomfortable in large social groups. They may still be searching for friendships or for somewhere they feel comfortable being themselves.

This, I think, is one of the challenges we face when working with teenagers: we cannot assume that every young person will naturally find their third space. Sometimes it needs to be created. 

That creation can be as simple as encouraging a student to join a hiking group, inviting them into a choir, finding a sport they enjoy, connecting them with a youth group, starting a book club, encouraging an artistic pursuit, or simply creating opportunities for students to spend time together without the pressure of formal learning.

The third space does not need to be impressive. It simply needs to offer a young person somewhere to connect and discover who they are becoming.

Interestingly, thinking about third spaces has also made me reflect on my own life.

As adults, we can very easily forget that our jobs are not our entire lives. We move from home to work and back again, filling our days with responsibilities, emails, errands and routines. Before we know it, our lives can become very functional.

Working at Michael Oak and thinking about the importance of third spaces made me realise that I needed one too.

So, my husband and I decided that once a month we would try to do something that fell outside our normal routine. Nothing particularly elaborate. Just something different.

We have gone rock climbing. We have had painting nights. We have gone for walks. We have tried things simply because they were new.

These experiences have given me the opportunity to pause, to laugh, to learn something badly, to be a beginner again and, importantly, to remember that I am more than my job.

Perhaps that is ultimately what makes a third space so powerful.

It gives us an opportunity to become something beyond the roles we usually occupy.

For our students, it might mean being more than a learner. They can be an athlete, an artist, a musician, a friend, a singer, a hiker, a teammate, a young leader or simply themselves.

For us as adults, it can remind us that we are more than our professions, our responsibilities and our routines.

A third space gives us room to grow. It gives us community and perspective. Most importantly, it gives us somewhere to belong.

As I continue my journey as a guardian, I am becoming increasingly aware that one of the most meaningful things we can do for young people is not necessarily to fill every moment of their lives, but to help them discover spaces where they can find themselves.

Sometimes we need to hold that space for them.

Sometimes we need to help them create it.

Sometimes, perhaps, we need to step back and allow them to make it their own.

Either way, I think we all need a third space.

Simone Ohlson
Class 8 guardian & history teacher